• If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area where you have access to an exit. Try to stay away from the bathroom, kitchen, bedroom, or anywhere else where weapons might be available
• Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, elevator or stairwell would be best
• Have a packed bag ready and keep it at a relatives or a friend’s home in order to leave quickly
• Identify one or more neighbors you can tell about the violence and ask that they call police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home
• Devise a code word to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors when you need the police
• Decide and plan for where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you don’t think you will need to)
• Use you own instincts and judgment. If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving the abuse what he wants to calm him down. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger
• Always remember – You DON’T deserve to be hit or threatened

Safety when preparing to leave:

• Open a savings account and/or credit card in your own name to start to establish or increase your independence. Think of other ways in which you can increase your independence
• Get your own post office box. You can privately receive checks and letter to begin your independence
• Leave money, an extra copy of keys, copies of important documents, extra medicines and clothes with someone you trust so you can leave quickly
• Determine who would be able to let you stay with them or lend you some money
• Keep the shelter or hotline phone number close at hand and keep some change or a calling card on you at all times for emergency phone calls
• Remember, leaving your batterer is the most dangerous time. Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to leave your batterer.
• When returning home, inspect the exterior of your house or apartment. Check your windows and doors. Check for any signs of forced entry. If you think someone has broken into your home, drive or walk to a neighbors and call the police

Other Important Tips:

• Consider buying pepper gas. The kind that you will need to purchase is a 10% pepper gas laced with mace. While the pepper gas will disable someone, the spray laced with mace will give you added time to run away or call police. A medium size can is best. Also, try to stay away from ones that come inside a leather case. This way you won’t have to worry about getting the snap undone. Last, but not least, buy one that has a stream, not a mist. With a mist, you run the chance of it coming back into your face. Check you spray periodically
• Also consider purchasing a cellular phone. Keep the battery charged and carry it with you at all times. If you feel uneasy, you may punch in the numbers 911. Most cellular will keep that information stored. All you have to do next is hit the send button

Your Safety and Emotional Health:

• If you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss an alternative plan with someone you trust
• If you have to communicate with your partner, determine the safest way to do so
• Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs
• Decide who you can talk to freely and openly to give you the support you need
• Plan to attend a women’s or victim’s support group for a least 2 weeks to gain support from others and learn more about yourself and the relationship

Checklist – What you need to take with you when you leave:

• Identification
  • Driver’s License
  • Child(ren)’s birth certificate(s)
  • Social security card(s)
  • Welfare identification
• Financial
  • Money and/or credit cards
  • Bank books
  • Checkbooks
• Legal
  • Your Order of Protection
  • Lease, rental agreement, house deed
  • Car registration and insurance papers
  • Health and life insurance papers
  • Medical records for you and your children
  • School records
  • Work permit/green card/Visa
  • Passport
  • Divorce papers
  • Custody/Visitation papers
• Other
  • House and care keys
  • Medication/toiletries/diapers
  • Jewelry
  • Address book
  • Phone card
  • Pictures of you, children, and abuser
  • Child(ren)’s small toys
  • Changes of clothes for you and your children